2008 Woodie Awards
Vote Absentee
True Revelations, Or:
How I Discovered That Lies and Truths Are Two Sides of the Same Coin
Hayzeus Ron
Issue date: 11/7/05 Section: Life & Leisure
Spring 2000
She's put me on the spot. Only seconds ago she looked me in the eye and asked me a question which dictates our future together. The question itself is not important. What is important is whether I choose to start off this relationship like all of my past failed ones... with a lie.
I don't want to lie to her. I don't want to tell her the truth either, because to tell the truth is to cause pain. But lies...lies equate to shame. I don't know; maybe it's my pride. Is this just me hiding behind righteousness bullshit, being pretentious?
Thoughts erupt and fade in milliseconds as I'm lost in her eyes.
She waits.
I want to be honest, but to tell you the truth, the truth hurts. I wonder if I deserve respect for taking my principles so seriously. Some would say "The kid is crazy - the only way you're gonna get by in life is to lie and cheat." And I think about all of the lies that surround me in life. The lies of my government, the lies of my church, the lies of my father...and even all the lies I told to myself. Then I think: "What if I told the truth?" And I shudder as I predict all the drama that would ensue.
She narrows her eyebrows suspiciously, perhaps aware of the inner conflict displayed by my momentary loss of words. Only a couple of seconds have passed since she asked her question, but seconds have slowed to the pace where each one is equivalent to a minute. I try to rearrange the features on my face, so I have the appearance of someone who knows what he is going to say but is still searching for the appropriate words. My façade seems to work, her look of suspicion transforms into one of understanding. Her eyes now seem to say "It's ok baby, take your time."
I need more than time. In fact I need to take all of space and time, pull the universe into my hands, view it with a new perspective to reevaluate the truth that exists behind all lies, and the way that all lies eventually lead to the truth. (Because we all know that's eventually what happens.)
She's put me on the spot. Only seconds ago she looked me in the eye and asked me a question which dictates our future together. The question itself is not important. What is important is whether I choose to start off this relationship like all of my past failed ones... with a lie.
I don't want to lie to her. I don't want to tell her the truth either, because to tell the truth is to cause pain. But lies...lies equate to shame. I don't know; maybe it's my pride. Is this just me hiding behind righteousness bullshit, being pretentious?
Thoughts erupt and fade in milliseconds as I'm lost in her eyes.
She waits.
I want to be honest, but to tell you the truth, the truth hurts. I wonder if I deserve respect for taking my principles so seriously. Some would say "The kid is crazy - the only way you're gonna get by in life is to lie and cheat." And I think about all of the lies that surround me in life. The lies of my government, the lies of my church, the lies of my father...and even all the lies I told to myself. Then I think: "What if I told the truth?" And I shudder as I predict all the drama that would ensue.
She narrows her eyebrows suspiciously, perhaps aware of the inner conflict displayed by my momentary loss of words. Only a couple of seconds have passed since she asked her question, but seconds have slowed to the pace where each one is equivalent to a minute. I try to rearrange the features on my face, so I have the appearance of someone who knows what he is going to say but is still searching for the appropriate words. My façade seems to work, her look of suspicion transforms into one of understanding. Her eyes now seem to say "It's ok baby, take your time."
I need more than time. In fact I need to take all of space and time, pull the universe into my hands, view it with a new perspective to reevaluate the truth that exists behind all lies, and the way that all lies eventually lead to the truth. (Because we all know that's eventually what happens.)