2008 Woodie Awards
An Open Letter to the Mammalian Lab Thief
Akintayo Akinronbi, guest commentary
Issue date: 11/7/05 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
Oh! Thou great cheater, the eternal violator of academic integrity, you have struck again. Yet again you have struck in my mammalian physiology laboratory this time making away with valuable histological slides.
I always knew you were lazy yet I let myself believe that you've changed. I couldn't be more wrong. I guess the famous adage is true afterrall, "Old habits die hard".
This time around you've gone too far. You knew a particular set of histological slides would be needed for an upcoming exam and you decided to steal them. Being the selfish creature that you are, you pilfered these slides hoping desperately to have an edge over all other students that would be required to identify the slides only during the exam.
I guess everyone was right about you all along. There really isn't an iota of decency left in your indolent veins.
How typical of you? But before you relish in your success, I just thought you should know that your misguided attempt at getting ahead only succeeded in roughing up an otherwise smooth sailing for all.
For some reason I am surprised, yet I don't understand why I am surprised, that while everybody concentrated their effort on studying their ass off your efforts were concentrated on cheating your ass off. For your outstanding efforts, our all knowing professor has chosen to reward everyone with a kick-ass lab exam.
My dear cheater, if you hadn't been an egotistically selfish being, maybe you could have thought of a more befitting present for your hardworking classmates. But since you have never achieved anything significant without deceit you wouldn't know the value of a great reward.
Thanks anyway. In light of your achievements, my pissed off professor has announced that everything in the textbook is now fair game. Thanks for messing up my beer drinking schedule, for some freaking extra studying. Oh yeah, did I forget to thank you for temporarily alienating me from my latest copy of NBA LIVE, I hope to one day return the disfavor.
Dear cheater, you have undoubtedly complicated the lives of all students taking mammalian physiology and we are pissed. As you are about to find out, hell hath no fury like a bunch of students screwed over. So, if I were you I'll pray to the good lord to forgive my transgression though given the veracity of your transgression it will take a whole lot to more to quell the unnecessary firestorm you have ignited. And, now that my all knowing professor and her army of T.A. are going CSI over your ass, here is my word of advice: "Be gone and stay gone, never again to grace us with your unpleasantness". In case you are ever caught, I promise I won't say I told you so. On second thoughts, maybe I just will.
Akintayo Akinronbi is a clinical lab sciences major.
I always knew you were lazy yet I let myself believe that you've changed. I couldn't be more wrong. I guess the famous adage is true afterrall, "Old habits die hard".
This time around you've gone too far. You knew a particular set of histological slides would be needed for an upcoming exam and you decided to steal them. Being the selfish creature that you are, you pilfered these slides hoping desperately to have an edge over all other students that would be required to identify the slides only during the exam.
I guess everyone was right about you all along. There really isn't an iota of decency left in your indolent veins.
How typical of you? But before you relish in your success, I just thought you should know that your misguided attempt at getting ahead only succeeded in roughing up an otherwise smooth sailing for all.
For some reason I am surprised, yet I don't understand why I am surprised, that while everybody concentrated their effort on studying their ass off your efforts were concentrated on cheating your ass off. For your outstanding efforts, our all knowing professor has chosen to reward everyone with a kick-ass lab exam.
My dear cheater, if you hadn't been an egotistically selfish being, maybe you could have thought of a more befitting present for your hardworking classmates. But since you have never achieved anything significant without deceit you wouldn't know the value of a great reward.
Thanks anyway. In light of your achievements, my pissed off professor has announced that everything in the textbook is now fair game. Thanks for messing up my beer drinking schedule, for some freaking extra studying. Oh yeah, did I forget to thank you for temporarily alienating me from my latest copy of NBA LIVE, I hope to one day return the disfavor.
Dear cheater, you have undoubtedly complicated the lives of all students taking mammalian physiology and we are pissed. As you are about to find out, hell hath no fury like a bunch of students screwed over. So, if I were you I'll pray to the good lord to forgive my transgression though given the veracity of your transgression it will take a whole lot to more to quell the unnecessary firestorm you have ignited. And, now that my all knowing professor and her army of T.A. are going CSI over your ass, here is my word of advice: "Be gone and stay gone, never again to grace us with your unpleasantness". In case you are ever caught, I promise I won't say I told you so. On second thoughts, maybe I just will.
Akintayo Akinronbi is a clinical lab sciences major.