2008 Woodie Awards
Akinronbi: SGA's Gripping Saga
Tayo Akinronbi, op-ed columnist
Issue date: 1/30/06 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
Let me be the first to welcome back the all-star cast of my favorite soap opera: Days of Our SGA. My most humble prayer is that this season will be as memorable as the preceding ones.
By now most of you are probably thinking "Am I holding a newspaper or TV Guide?" But before you fling this paper to the fires of Mount Doom from whence it came, I beg you to hear me out.
I am not just talking about an ordinary soap opera. Before I reveal its name, here is a little bit of trivia for you to munch on. Of all the soaps on TV, which one affords its fans the opportunity to meet his/her favorite soap stars up close and personal, or even attend the same classes as them? If you are an R-N student and still don't have a clue, you leave me no choice but to come out of these pages and knock some sense into your much empty skull.
Where would we be without the SGA? It's no secret how boring R-N has become until SGA rose up to the challenge and provided us all with their drama. Like a titillating episode of "Fear Factor," those guys put the fun back in dysfunctional and I love them for it.
The storyline for last semester was especially powerful and on behalf of the student body, I say "thank you."
We are grateful to you guys for providing us with a vintage re-enactment of the Alexander Hamilton/Aaron Burr duel played by senators Darrius Humphrey and Eddie Beck. All that was missing were the pistols.
I know you guys in the SGA ought to be an influence on campus and all that crap but no one ever said whether it should be positive or negative. Don't be swayed by such a noble sounding argument. In your defense I say being a positive influence is a state of mind.
Therefore, in the spirit of Rutgerism (don't bother consulting Mr. Webster), if we are to have a better season than last semester, here's a suggestion: instead of holding the fights inside a small room in the campus center, I say we buy a boxing ring. To finance the enormous cost, all we need to do is scrape off fifty dollars off each club's budget (they're always complaining anyway; one less fifty won't make a difference). Besides, we wouldn't want our most distinguished senators to suffer the indignity of tussling in a less-than-pristine environment.
The positive side of this scenario is an opportunity to fist out all grievances and be done with it. To this end, we would name the tournament "Rumble in the Jungle II". Being the Don King of R-N, I'll handle the tickets and advertising for this main event.
I'm hoping the SGA will take my proposition to heart because I've got everything all set up. But in case you decide against it, a repeat of last semester's performance wouldn't be too bad. As the referees in boxing will say, "This semester, I want a clear, clean fight, no hitting below the belt; in case of a knockout don't be heart broken, just think of the enormous sacrifice you are making for your fellow students."
Columnist Tayo Akinronbi is an NCAS clinical lab sciences major.
By now most of you are probably thinking "Am I holding a newspaper or TV Guide?" But before you fling this paper to the fires of Mount Doom from whence it came, I beg you to hear me out.
I am not just talking about an ordinary soap opera. Before I reveal its name, here is a little bit of trivia for you to munch on. Of all the soaps on TV, which one affords its fans the opportunity to meet his/her favorite soap stars up close and personal, or even attend the same classes as them? If you are an R-N student and still don't have a clue, you leave me no choice but to come out of these pages and knock some sense into your much empty skull.
Where would we be without the SGA? It's no secret how boring R-N has become until SGA rose up to the challenge and provided us all with their drama. Like a titillating episode of "Fear Factor," those guys put the fun back in dysfunctional and I love them for it.
The storyline for last semester was especially powerful and on behalf of the student body, I say "thank you."
We are grateful to you guys for providing us with a vintage re-enactment of the Alexander Hamilton/Aaron Burr duel played by senators Darrius Humphrey and Eddie Beck. All that was missing were the pistols.
I know you guys in the SGA ought to be an influence on campus and all that crap but no one ever said whether it should be positive or negative. Don't be swayed by such a noble sounding argument. In your defense I say being a positive influence is a state of mind.
Therefore, in the spirit of Rutgerism (don't bother consulting Mr. Webster), if we are to have a better season than last semester, here's a suggestion: instead of holding the fights inside a small room in the campus center, I say we buy a boxing ring. To finance the enormous cost, all we need to do is scrape off fifty dollars off each club's budget (they're always complaining anyway; one less fifty won't make a difference). Besides, we wouldn't want our most distinguished senators to suffer the indignity of tussling in a less-than-pristine environment.
The positive side of this scenario is an opportunity to fist out all grievances and be done with it. To this end, we would name the tournament "Rumble in the Jungle II". Being the Don King of R-N, I'll handle the tickets and advertising for this main event.
I'm hoping the SGA will take my proposition to heart because I've got everything all set up. But in case you decide against it, a repeat of last semester's performance wouldn't be too bad. As the referees in boxing will say, "This semester, I want a clear, clean fight, no hitting below the belt; in case of a knockout don't be heart broken, just think of the enormous sacrifice you are making for your fellow students."
Columnist Tayo Akinronbi is an NCAS clinical lab sciences major.