2008 Woodie Awards
Vote Absentee
Who Dem debating?
The Voice of the Observer
Issue date: 12/18/07 Section: Observations
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Last Saturday the presidential democratic candidates went to Las Vegas. The players were all dressed in suits in sweltering Nevada as Hillary Clinton comments, "And this pantsuit, it's asbestos tonight."
That was probably the most straightforward, honest comment in the first half of the debates. It seemed like the candidates were playing dodgeball in polyester track suits and had no problem switch hitting whenever the odds were in favor.
The debates were really a secret pre-prom party for the Democratic National Party and network television just cut out the real festivities due to graphic nature.
Observer reports that during the DNP prom some of the most interesting and cutting edge comments were revisited.
We approached candidate Joe Biden while he was on the dance floor next to Barak Obama who was teaching him the new DNP sidestep. The dance is called "trianguling" which initially came from Obama's observational analysis of Clinton's maneuvering skills but it was later refined by Obama when he realized that he had it in him all along. We asked Biden what he meant when he said that the American people don't care about what was going on in the debates and that they were just concerned with their everyday lives, he was mid step in the new dance and somehow Biden twirled around the comment and lost us in the crowd.
Luckily, as the dance floor moved, Congressman Dennis Kucinich flailed his elbows in his seeming victory dance. He was clearly not our future president but he winked when asked about how he felt about the debate tonight. Kucinich was the only candidate who had the opportunity to address the Patriot Act when Wolf Blitzer asked him, "I believe you're the only person on this stage who had a chance to vote on the Patriot Act right after 9/11 who voted against it right away." Where Kucinich promptly replied, "That's because I read it."
Wolf Blitzer was making some small talk by the punchbowl and thought we might get some commentary so we made a beeline across the dance floor. On our way over we heard a wave of complaint that followed Governor Bill Richardson as he clumsily stepped on everyone's feet that he skirted by.
That was probably the most straightforward, honest comment in the first half of the debates. It seemed like the candidates were playing dodgeball in polyester track suits and had no problem switch hitting whenever the odds were in favor.
The debates were really a secret pre-prom party for the Democratic National Party and network television just cut out the real festivities due to graphic nature.
Observer reports that during the DNP prom some of the most interesting and cutting edge comments were revisited.
We approached candidate Joe Biden while he was on the dance floor next to Barak Obama who was teaching him the new DNP sidestep. The dance is called "trianguling" which initially came from Obama's observational analysis of Clinton's maneuvering skills but it was later refined by Obama when he realized that he had it in him all along. We asked Biden what he meant when he said that the American people don't care about what was going on in the debates and that they were just concerned with their everyday lives, he was mid step in the new dance and somehow Biden twirled around the comment and lost us in the crowd.
Luckily, as the dance floor moved, Congressman Dennis Kucinich flailed his elbows in his seeming victory dance. He was clearly not our future president but he winked when asked about how he felt about the debate tonight. Kucinich was the only candidate who had the opportunity to address the Patriot Act when Wolf Blitzer asked him, "I believe you're the only person on this stage who had a chance to vote on the Patriot Act right after 9/11 who voted against it right away." Where Kucinich promptly replied, "That's because I read it."
Wolf Blitzer was making some small talk by the punchbowl and thought we might get some commentary so we made a beeline across the dance floor. On our way over we heard a wave of complaint that followed Governor Bill Richardson as he clumsily stepped on everyone's feet that he skirted by.
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